I just got married, and would like to know the essential fiqh of bedroom
relations. I wanted to know the fiqh of intimacy with one's spouse. Specifically
what is haram, makrooh, mubah, halal..etc...
It is disliked
Face the qibla.
Be in the presence
of a mature child. (Ibn `Abidin)
Talk, for it is
from the sunna not to talk excessively during intercourse. (Ibn `Abidin)
It is proper
to cover up a Qur’an in the bedroom. (Ibn `Abidin)
It is best
to avoid looking at each other’s private parts, though some Companions
held that it is fine because it increases desire. (Durar)
al-Maliki mentioned in al-Madkhal:
of the night is better…
One must avoid
intercourse with one’s wife before any foreplay, because it has been interdicted.
Rather, one should play around with her and jest with kisses, touches and
the like. Then, one sees that she is ready, prepared, and desirous of him,
only then should he initiate intercourse. The wisdom of the Lawgiver in
this is evident, for the woman derives pleasure as a man does. If he approaches
her while she is unprepared, he may fulfill his need, but she may not,
and would feel frustrated…
one should say, Bismillah Allahumma Jannibna al-Shaytan, wa Jannib ish-Shaytanu
ma Razaqtana, as has been authentically reported in the sunna…
One should be
careful to fulfill the rights of the wife with regards to intercourse,
and to safeguard her religion. One should fulfill oneself [=orgasm] after
she has achieved fulfillment, to be under the general rubric of the Prophet’s
saying (Allah bless him and give him peace), “Allah is in the assistance
of a servant as long as he is in the assistance of his fellow.”
One should not
have intercourse without covers…
It is best to
perform ghusl before sleeping after intercourse. Or, at least to do wudu
and wash the private parts. [f: One should not, at the very least, leave
washing the private parts.]
general guidelines. Ruqayya Waris Maqsood’s book on marriage goes into
some detail on the subject, as does Imam al-Ghazali’s work.
Anal sex is,
of course haram.
stimulation is permitted.
are najis, so oral sex is detested.
(hayd), intercourse is haram. So is direct skin contact between
the wife’s navel and knee. Everything else, however, remains permitted.
And Allah knows
by Sidi Faraz Rabbani of the Hanafi